way off in space
leaving it all behind,
but just for a while,
leaving behind the human race
useless fragments of cargo entow
as it drops - released
to the earth far below
All normal thoughts and worries,
gone for a while.
A solitary passenger
A solitary smile.
DESTINATION - UNKNOWN
Then reality returnsÖ
And all that remains,
is a burnt-out old man
in the blackened and charred husk
of a rocket that once wasÖ
HERE I lay
alone without you,
confounded and empty
HERE right now
my joy stripped from me
as surely as if it was
taken with a gun
HERE I sit
and contemplate on
happier times than this
in days gone by
HERE I wonder
why the pain produces
such a numbing effect
on my brain
HERE I am,
or am I? you could
look inside me and see
my soul tormented and
ravaged as if by termites
HERE - Fragmented, and partial without you.
and they played till the sunÖ
left them far behind. Their thoughts
on nothingÖ nothing but the next
moment. And that moment when
it came couldnít help but almost
be a disappointment because every
fraction of a second till now it seemed
was just as happy and cause for
as much exuberance as every moment
till then. This didnít matter much to
them, because they usually never gave
pause to think about such weighty
matters as that. And it would be
much the worse if they did, because
their mood might have a chance to
be dampened otherwise. Theirs
was a perfect relationship - one in
which dancing and frolicking pervaded
every pore of their being, touching
to the core of their soul
preventing them from thinking of
unhappier times or the uncertainty
of the future. Who in fact would want
to think of these things if they could avoid it?
And at night they slept, and dreamt of happiness
and holding each other in their arms, every thought
intent on making that dream a reality.
In the morning, the sun came up, and the dance began anew.
Always and Whenever
for this I did it all for you
of wonderful times
all gone by
always and whenever
I wonder why
time stood still
that fateful day
now I remember
I turned away
emotions of grief
agony and despair
your words to me now
linger in the air
and even though youíve hurt me
Iíll love you forever
so please remember me
always and whenever.
Short Stories of Time
The bell rang, the people sang.
They danced in frivolity, and drank
the night away.
Is that really what happened
grandfather?, asked the boy. Yes,
Harold it is, replied the old man
The rock tumbled to the bottom
of the lake, kicking up dirt as it struck
the bottom. The other rocks didnít
seem to notice.
The dog, the grapefruit, the octopus,
and the iguana all set out on a race. It
didnít matter who won, they were all rather
Real emotions tend to come out in tense situations"
the man thought, just before being eaten
by a crocodile who felt badly about it afterwards
Everyone laughed at the man who had
just made a fool of himself, little realizing
that they were hours away from becoming
fools themselves, and all the while, the
world turned as it should.
Just stick me in a corner
try to pretend that Iím not there
did you forget all about me?
do you even care?
Am I a pain to look at?
Can you stand to see,
anything which vaguely reminds you of me?
Do I have some kind of disease?
one which Iíve never heard of?
should I be quarantined and kept away?
Donít try to explain it,
thereís nothing you can say
on those days that I think of you,
like yesterday and today
So just go if you want,
forever if you like.
and Iíll just stay here,
and remember our love some nights
One day it arrived
and soon it was here.
The workers arrived, pitched their tents
and sat and waited for the rain, and thought
of better times and the travels that lay before them
The next day the rides were set up,
people paid their money, came and went.
Excitement and hubbub filled the air.
A little girl dropped her ice cream cone,
and smiled when it was replaced with a new one.
It isnít hard at all -
living in the carnival
you can see the world at minimum wage,
leave towns like turning a page
But soon it will be back again
the carnival in a caravan
You get off, and I can see
the carnival has brought you back to me.
But itís only three days of fun,
"Sorry Iíve got to run",
"You know I canít stay", as the train rides off
slowly carrying you away.
I almost wish
that time would just stop
or slow down a bit, and let me get off
I almost wish
that every day
involved me looking at your lovely face
I almost remember
that time near December
when you kissed me, and pain disappeared
I almost want
everything Iíve got, and nothing Iím not
and to be near you, and just stop
I almost thought
that life could be fair
and then the wind picked up and changed direction
I almost was
looking forward to living
I almost had you
and now youíre gone
I almost had everything
Out of control,
swept over all
wearing it down again
with more intensity this time
and the ability to stop in a moment
but yet with no pause for anyone
onlookers in its path are swept,
and all away,
Ö. are out of the way
Greeted by silence,
and returning to its roots,
until momentary collapse
but not stopping
waiting for the time.
Sometimes in the stillness of the night you..
can almost hear yourself think.
The darkness envelopes you and the day comes toÖ
a sense of closureÖ
Sometimes I dream and Iím not here at all. WhatísÖ
going on? Confusion takes hold. The unreal becomes
real. Simple explanation are given for things andÖ
are believed to be true. Boundaries are undefined
Sometimes I donít want to move at all. Stillness
is the mode of choice. The void of sound is
heard as loud as the flicker of a candle. The
wind breaks the silence, and is heard as an explosionÖ
of gunfire butÖ.movement continues on unhindered
Sometimes everything happens at once. The catonic
state of things takes on ridiculous proportionsÖ
The complexity of the situation becomes a massive
Neanderthal. Massive, but slow of thought. Given
a task he may reach it in time orÖ.it may engulf
him as he will have to evolve into something that canÖ
grasp the fullness of the moment
When I think of you I dream in black and white
you have drained all the color from me.
I reach out and grasp what is not there
and remember that which does not exist any more.
I sent my love to you, and it came back
stamped "return to sender".
I donít know what is real anymore
I only know you.
Fading and distant memories
are all the more sad when they are all
you have to hold on to.
That hold is loosened more and more each day.
Why have you put up the Great Wall of China
Is there any chance of immigration?
Iím sorry I forgot my passport.
Love like steam dissolved and through it
the sun shone down brightly.
Brightly on me and even to
the dark place that you used to occupy in my heart.
Do you like it where you are?
does he keep you safe and warm?
is he the sunshine of your life...
when he holds you in his arm?
and have you forgotten about me?
and everything I am?
and about the way I love you...
whenever I can.
time was something I never thought about
until you broke me in two when you said "so long"
and before I knew it, my life with you was over
and all of my precious time.... was gone
I remember when you walked away
the last thing I saw was your back
and all the love I gave to you
you let fall away into a crack
If you ever have another cold lonely night
try to remember this as sort of a guide
to look beyond the wall you have put up
because Iíll be waiting on the other side
didnít you always think
that tomorrow would never come?
didnít you always want to be
shining in the sun?
Well now itís tomorrow
and what are you gonna do?
And if tomorrow is only a day away,
what happens the day after that?
Youíve got bags to pack
and no time to waste
And the world is waiting for you - pretty face
because I know they want to see
you waste - away
Well now itís yesterday
and you want me to stay away
and tomorrow seems so far that way
And if yesterday is only a day away,
then what happens the day after that?
The waves washed up,
lapping away the shore.
I was laughing,
and you were standing there
- looking beautiful in the sand.
In a moribund apartment, in a place
noticed by few, and admired by less.
An old man sat wasting away, drinking beer,
and coddling his favorite and only armchair.
Drinking was his only vice, and virtue abandoned
him long ago leaving him with nothing to do
but sit, eat his retirement money, and
wait for the end. Heíd stopped fearing it,
there couldnít be much more for him to fear
in his life. With happiness only a word and
a memory to him, he could either ignore
it or reach for it, and reaching for him was
getting harder to do these days.
The line left dangling
he took the bait and ran with it
Pulled up out of the water into an unfamiliar environment
the hook was wrapped in his mouth
- unable to breath or speak
Not what the fisherman was looking for
-back you go - after the hook is ripped out
And so the fish was thrown back
into the water
dangling and bleeding
And what does it matter?
thereís plenty of other fish in the sea
The child awoke
and began to cry
tears streamed down
his baby blue eyes
not knowing that one day he would grow old...
and soon to die
The boy awoke
and began to cry
he just discovered
his grandfather died
but he wanted to live
and to breathe
and a twinkle appeared in those bright blue eyes
The youth awoke
and began to think
he wondered about the price of mink
his girlfriend wanted one, and she must have it
she was beautiful, (but no Jessica Rabbit)
The man was now old
no longer a youth
heíd gone bankrupt -
a tax dispute
Whatís to become of me?
and those old blue eyes lost some luster
The grandfather was dying in his bed
a feather pillow aside his head
the light in the room became shaded
as those bright blue eyes sparkled, closed
and the child slept
Ramblings on a Sunny Afternoon
Itís all the same
take a walk
who will walk with you?
the sidewalk stretches on forever
you reach up
almost touch the sky
and then down again
watch the squirrels run
but where do they run to?
It becomes dark- the sun leaves
The rain comes down
Back inside again
Itís all the same (all in one day)
Keep it in a box,
or in a public place
Be careful, indiscretion
is an invention
that only you can face
And if your face
has two faces
then what are you to do?
I suppose itís easier when crossing the street
you can always look both ways
and when pouring yourself
a cup of tea, itís never one
but two you see
Sometimes you bring it out with you
sometimes itís your favorite friend
But whether you keep it locked away
is something you try to pretend
and only you know
itís there to the end
Courtesy of the Elevator
Oh the places you can go
inside your mind
inside your mind
leave it all behind
Just for a day
take a tour
or a walk if you like
Stripped and confused,
step away from it all,
let it all out
Close your eyes,
let the colors mesmerize
everything sparkles and fades
now that youíre half a world away
Wide awake and screaming
or fast asleep and dreaming?
Itís just a choice we have to make,
before you hear something break
And itís never over or is it too late?
A Day in the Sun
but still spinning
but you canít see it
the morning after
the waves break
the sun comes into view
people set up chairs on the beach
boats pass by
they carry off people into the distance
in for a swim people go
others try to catch a tan on the shore
the salt water is uninhabitable by fresh water animals
a few more revolutions of the earth
the sand dissapears
and the people in the ice can catch the suns rays
and they rejoice
Permanent Transitory Nothingness
Looking back, a heart attack
fenced in sideways, with nowhere to run
The giant waterbug comes over to help you out
But heís not real, all I do is steal,
and run away from the monsters in my closet,
who are making friends with my skeletons.
The rain outside is pouring down,
the cats and dogs they fell on me.
Iím not confused, Iím just easily amused,
just close my eyes and let me see.
Come back for the truck that came to pick you up,
and leave all of this behind.
You make friends with the sandman in his
sandcastle, and the ocean washes up - it wants to play too.
Wake up to find that your bed has been repossessed,
seems some folks in Missouri want to sleep too.
Catch a falling star, and it burns right through you,
thats okay you only need one hand to hold your face with.
Together it seems,
is only a dream
that I dreamed long ago (when I could dream)
Vibrations of sound
and fluid motion
flow through this dream,
and are quickly forgotten
Shapes and colors
twist and turn
reminding me of the one
for whom I used to yearn
Memories flicker like lights in the distance,
standing at the train station and waiting,
for the train that will never come,
and will never take you where you want to go
Shudder at the sight and sound of another waking day
without the face that seems distant and far away
I used to remember how to dream,
I used to remember how to feel,
and I now I wake up in the morning (alone)
is it all real? (why)
Hello pretty thing
flying about in my head
Wonít you come visit me?
lying in bed
Are you for real?
Or are you pretend?
Does it all matter in the end?
Pretty thing with a pretty face,
golden hair dancing into place
Please wonít you be mine,
for just one night
Near you the stars are out of sight
Just hold me, just talk to me, just comfort me so,
Itíll make it easier when the morning hours come....and you go
I donít want to hurt you,
but Iím afraid I might hurt you
I donít want to hurt you,
but Iím afraid I might hurt
The Girl in the Window
Everyday I pass by the girl in the window,
hoping sheíll throw a smile in my direction. Her
radiant snow-white skin, and lovely face outshine
the brightest of stars. The stars are far away,
but she is oh so close. I long to be near her,
and feel the warmth of her embrace.
She seems familiar, but if she knew me
she gives no sign of remembrance. All this
along my way, I leave return to life, and toil
at my work. Every day the same, not a glance
in my direction, just a girl who doesnít know me,
and a smile that could melt butter. Other men
come to see her, and her happiness is almost
too much for me to bear. I suppose Iím jealous,
but jealous of what? I donít know her, I only
know what I see, or at least what Iím allowed
to see through the window. I canít get too close,
or else she would see me watching. She smiles
through the glass, and that smile rips a hole
in my heart, in my soul, and brings me more warmth
than anything I have ever known. If only the smile
was for me, but it is not, and time passes. The girl
doesnít come to the window anymore, and the house
becomes a dark place. The window is boarded up,
and a for sale sign put up, and she is gone. Never
to return. But I will always carry her smile
around with me in my heart.
Bath Tub Curtain
Tired one night,
a shower would be nice
Behind the curtain,
cold as ice.
Lock me in, and keep me safe
Forget about everything else.
and watch the water dripping
its held in place by the shower curtaining
I know thereís a world out there somewhere,
But right now,
I can see nothing but a green sheet.
Me and nothing else.
And then it parts,
Iím out there somewhere
in the world again.
And Iím not held safe anymore,
by the bath tub curtain.
I skate along in the winter chill,
and its freezing out here,
My face is fractured swollen red from the cold
Numbly I move along
Without thinking, I blindly stumble inside
An almost involuntary action
I reach inside the cleft of my left pocket
and pull it out
and there it is still
The chapstick, my chapstick, to cure all ills.
After smoothing it on, the world seems much brighter
the snow outside becomes lighter and lighter
and the chapstick goes back in my pocket,
where it came from.
Sitting all alone,
waiting for you to call me,
but nobodyís home.
I canít hear you.
Why donít you just pick up the phone?
Itís so cold outside,
Itís so dark inside,
Iím along for the ride.
I walk into the other room,
but not the other side.
I can almost hear your voice now,
breaking through to me.
I can almost hear you telling me,
what you want to see.
Maybe Iíll just go away,
and leave all my troubles to yesterday
everything seems so far away......
As I pick up the phone.....
to the silence......
wrapped away in a corner
hidden somewhere gone.
Itís always interesting
to find out that youíre wrong.
Do or do not do,
they say there is no try
Somethings always missing,
and you never find out why.
All baked, and caked, and out of place
Out of sync, out of time, in outer space
Donít you know?
Donít you see?
Is it something you would rather be?
But itís out there somewhere.
Maybe hiding in a corner.
All round and about,
and waiting for another.
People are together all over the world,
but some others want to fight.
They just donít realize the truth,
they havenít seen the light.
Some people look different,
Some people look the same.
But God knows and loves all of us,
he calls us by our name.
Thereís so little precious time in this life,
that we have to hate one another.
So letís spend that time instead
on loving each other.
With God in our hearts,
he can cut away sin at its root.
Because he loves us all,
- his precious little baskets of fruit.
I lie awake upstairs on the floor thinking about you,
and you are asleep maybe, dreaming about who knows what.
Are you really this close to me?
Did we really just kiss thirty minutes ago?
Will I really awake in the morning and see you downstairs?
Or is this all some kind of crazy good dream -
the kind that once you have, you spend the rest
of your life trying to remember exactly what was
in that dream.
And trying to have that dream again.
Do I have to go home?
Canít I just live in this dream?
Nearby you forever?
You engulf my thoughts in a great gulf,
that is not so far as it once was.
The darkness brings us closer together
in my mind because in the dark you canít
tell where anything is.
But I know where you are.
And I love every bit of you.
My radiant beauty, do you not glow in the dark?
Will the morning never come?
Will you be there when it does?
Through love and hate
and peace and war
I love you now,
more than ever before
your face, oh your face
I see it with me
wherever I go
I carry it around
at a distance
Does anyone know?
It haunts my soul to love you
It tries to tell me there is a different answer
and sometimes I believe it
Iím scared of the future,
and I embrace the past
in a celebration of what was not meant to last
of what never could be
Where is that perfect world?
That piece of you that exists inside of me?
These shadows that follow me,
with no body attached.
Why wonít they leave?
The stillness is not broken
but my silence is broken
Spinning, and spinning, and spinning
in great revolutions
your memory orbits about me
Sometimes the cycles are very long
I donít understand your frequency
Chilled hands and face
look up at me
Pleading for the help that
I cannot give.
Sadness in her eyes
a metaphor falls from her lips
and sings her softly to sleep.
in the cold of the night
until all is still.
The moon hugs her very essence
the frost worships her being
the air moves about her with care
in deference to her beauty.
Even her shadow watches her in wonder
and the racoons stop their forraging for a moment
as she slips away
and is gone
Words are my paintbrush
The world is my canvas
I stretch my fingers out and encompass everything I can imagine
But what to touch?
what to feel?
what to paint?
what to immortalize?
What lofty subject of the earth
could be brought down to our understanding
by the mere description of it in words?
The snow falls,
but is it truly felt,
is it truly understood?
Can we really understand anything?
"Look at that"
"Itís lovely isnít it?"
And indeed it is.
But therein lies the problem
how to address in a few simple paragraphs
a few twists of the hand, a few sentences strung together,
no matter how carefully
a subject of your work, your art, your description
that has existed until now
without any help from you.
and absorb it with every core of your being
find out what holds it together
what tears it apart
and write about it.
Give it life.
And when you are finished
a work stands alone, apart from you
a finished, complete thought
Itís lovely isnít it.
Poetry flows out of a troubled soul
like water from a sieve
pure, twisting, and violent
an unrelenting source
of pure passion
but sometimes it trickles
out of the imagination
from where dreams come
and love and beauty intertwine
And when it is stanched
and dried up and twisted
itís all the more wonderful
when it bursts forth free again
and colors spring out
all manner of reds, and greens
all shapes and sounds
of reeds twisting in the wind
of herons standing on one leg in the marsh
Times and Places never gone
Now youíre here
Goodbye so long
When I stayed I was far far away
Now that Iím gone I think about yesterday
I think about yesterday every day until the day goes by
I donít stop to think if I did Iíd cry
Just move along and let the tide go by
And all the pain will keep you inside
What will the future bring?
Are you gonna buy me a diamond ring
Are you ever gonna listen to me sing
If you donít pay attention then nothing means anything
Nothing means anything anymore
Youíve shut me out of a locked door
Not a scream not a cry
Just a whisper and goodbye
Tea for Two
It would be nice
That would be just fine
If you were here
And we could dine
A table reserved
With two seats Ė just two
One for me
And the other for you
What would we talk about?
What would we do?
While weíre waiting for dinner
How bout tea for two?
You look lovely tonight
Just like a book
Whose pages contain thousands of words
And each word worth a look
Numerous words and phrases ran through my head
As you smiled, looked at me, and said
"Thanks for a wonderful evening, maybe we can do it again sometime?"
"Again sometime? Yes, that would be nice, that would be just fine"
An overt gesture, a smile or two
The evening over
Nothing left to do
Except sit and finish drinking our tea for two