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Outwards

My life is the great-unfinished novel that everyone clamors for when it is finished. But unfortunately it keeps going along, travels from page to page, dangling maddeningly in front of me. The kind of thing that you can’t see right in front of your own nose but everyone else stops to point it out and ask you exactly how it came to get there. It’s none of their business of course, but people are naturally nosy and if they see something that wasn’t there before they’re innately curious and even if they don’t go so far as to stop and ask the person how it got there, they will certainly wonder about it, and might even talk about it to their friends back home. I saw the most curious thing today they might say, and they’d be correct, as everything out of the ordinary is curious. But what is the ordinary? Is the ordinary a completely non-changing state where you find everything exactly as you left it? That would be completely bizarre, but unfortunately that is how people perceive it without even thinking about it. Things are expected to stay calm and under control, otherwise folks worry. They like things to stay exactly the way they are now so they don’t get jolted by a big dose of reality in the morning. “Sure is cold”, they say, but what they’re really saying is that it wasn’t cold yesterday, so it’s amazing that it’s cold today. I fully expected things to stay exactly the way they are now because that’s the way I like it. And when it’s cold more than one day in a row, the phrase it’s cold outside takes on a different meaning, than it becomes it sure is cold outside. I wish it would go back to being not cold because that is normal. In other words normal is also what people feel most comfortable with, but I already said that in so many words. Or did I? I don’t know. Do you feel comfortable with me saying that? We have a strict line to follow they say. If you don’t follow that line dire consequences will happen. We’d lock up the weather and never let it out if we could. It’s damnable enough that it has to go around being cold all the time. I hate the cold I wish it would just be as warm and sunny and nice as it always is. The cold is a freekish thing that I hate and detest. Room temperature may well be heaven on earth if you believe that line of reasoning. So expect the unexpected. Don’t be surprised when someone dies at 27. He had to make room for the man who died at 105 so as to make room for a median age of death at 75. In other words, some people live longer than 75 and some people live shorter. That’s why it’s called an average. The people who die at exactly at 75 aren’t average. They are the ones who are abnormal.

Day 2
What a screeching accident I saw today. The cars jolted this way and that to try and avoid each other, but in the end catastrophe struck, and the two cars that were on a collision course with each other were unable to avoid meeting with enough force to dislodge all temporary attachments from their respective cars. Each car contained one driver each, both of whom were completely unprepared for their perfectly timed day to be interrupted by anything other than surprisingly long traffic signals, and a line at the gas station. The shock of what had happened dismayed both passengers to no small end, and their brains were temporarily thrown into disorder as their next formulated thoughts were chaotic, and ideas of what to do were created, pondered upon and tossed away in a matter of seconds. In the end, both persons eventually got out of their cars, with the first merely to walk around and bemoan his tragic fate in an exasperated fashion, and the second to survey the damage closely and wonder how much it would cost to repair. “Why did you do this to me?” asked the first, who believed implicitly that a great wrong to wellbeing had been done. The second, merely trying to make the best of a bad situation, stated that he was very sorry and had done everything possible to avoid striking him with his vehicle. This answer did little to appease the first who walked around angrily, looking at nothing in particular, while lighting a cigarette, and taking a few puffs, before echoing a string of expletives. Then the police were called by the first, while the second, whose head was still pounding with dismay and threatening to cease functioning, could think of nothing better to do than to get back inside his battered shell of a car, quiver silently to himself, and hope that nothing worse happened. People who were traveling by this area, with every good intention of going elsewhere, quickly became onlookers, and either slowed their movements, or stopped entirely to ask what happened. Later still, policemen arrived, blame was assessed, and tickets were issued with a promise to appear in court. The first was upset that he had to appear in court at all, but seemed confident that a judge’s decision would go his way. The second, by this time, merely wanted to be done with the whole matter, and was in a hurry to try and forget about the whole thing. The police thanked them, and told them to have a nice day, before shooing all the onlookers away, getting in their transport vehicles and departing. Then the first and the second, satisfied that the matter at hand was over, determined that their cars were drive-able, so they got in them, started the engines up again, and were off, spare parts dragging, and wires sparking as they went.
Day 3
How boring life is when no end is in sight. When there is no light at the end of the tunnel, and none even theoretically nearby, why would you even bother walking further? Instead you would most likely sit down for long stretches of time, ponder how you got into this predicament, and fiddle around in your pockets for a stick of gum. If no gum was to be found you might even examine the lint found in your jacket pocket and see what kind of shapes you could stretch it to. If this happened then it would be quite obvious that you would be entering the first stages of doldrums. Doldrums are extremely boring times multiplied to the nth degree by the number of interesting things you have to do (usually zero). Once you enter doldrums it’s very hard to get out of them by yourself. Usually an outside circumstance, such as a person or happenstance, must occur to get you out of it. There is only a certain amount of times that you can twiddle your thumbs before they will break off entirely. Try it and see - it is guaranteed that you won’t find it to be a pleasant circumstance. Ever lose a roadmap and try to navigate to the location you were trying to get to before by sheer force of will or determination? I thought not. It’s most unlikely that you can arrive at a location further away than across the street if you have never been there before and have no definite idea how to get there. If you somehow through incredible luck managed to arrive at this location, how would you know if you were there? Would you depend on the road-signs to guide you there? Would you ask the next person you stopped to talk to at a gas station? What would be the most interesting thing you could buy at the gas station to while away your time? If this interesting thing was a food item, then it wouldn’t keep you entertained for long, only during intervals at stoplights where your hands, which should have both been placed on the steering wheel, would now be free to grab the food item and place it in your mouth at will. If you had a traveling companion, then they could put the food in your mouth for you while you are driving. But if you had a companion your chances of both reaching your destination and being entertained would greatly increase, unless of course you hated your companion. But if you hated your companion, why would they be in the car in the first place? Only if they were in the car against your will could this unusual arrangement occur. If you ever do manage to get to a location that you’ve never been to before, but that is further away than across the street without the aid of a friend, a map, or a clue, then let me know and I’ll come running to ask you about it. That is, I’ll be there if I can figure out how to get to your house – I’ve never been there.
Day 4
I saw someone today that I hadn’t expected to see. When I say that, I mean that I haven’t seen this person in quite some time. I was taken aback to put it mildly. I wasn’t horrified. I wasn’t in shock terror. I was glad to see him, and I wasn’t disappointed that he became fat. After all, when I saw him last he was thin. Who am I to say that a person can’t change how they are since the last time I’ve seen them. In fact we should be quite happy when we chance upon an old friend, which is what this person was, who has changed since you’ve seen them last. Look at their change as a sign of progression in their life, which almost anyone will agree is better than stagnation or regression. If they have regressed, that’s fine too, because then you can pride yourself on the fact that while you have retained much of your youthful vigor and good looks, they’ve gained a pot belly and have started chain smoking. Unfortunately since this person is your friend, you can’t in good nature point out how much they’ve changed since they might get offended. If they get offended does that really matter? Since you hadn’t seen this person in a while and probably haven’t talked or written in quite some time, and since it didn’t matter to you how they were before this point, how much does the opinion of someone whom you may very well not see for several more years really matter to you? Remember how they were before in their prime, when they made you laugh and they wore funny hats. Remember your friends. Sometimes they may be all you have left. You can’t keep but so many friends in good company. So don’t make the mistake of having the ones you really appreciate turn out to be the people you see on occasion and are surprised to see. To have friends you must show yourself friendly. It’s an old and oft repeated adage, but like most things that stand to be repeated, it is repeated for a reason. The reason is because it is so. What you reap is what you sow, and vice versa. A man with many friends is a man to be. So pick your friends well. Pick them on the basis of love and companionship. Don’t pick friends out of convenience, these might be the friends that will stab you in the back when it comes time for the promotion at work. To those reading these words, I wish you all the best of luck in finding friends that you can talk to, and appreciate you for who you are, not how much money they can borrow from you, or what you will do for them. Don’t make friends on the basis of favors. The favors owed can become like a debt to be paid between you, and when it’s time to pay up, it might test your friendship. A strong friendship can withstand any trouble, and one that cannot was no good in the first place. Be careful with your friends, you never know how long they will last.
Day 5
When you are walking, be sure to notice your surroundings. There’s nothing worse than someone who lives in complete and utter ignorance of their surroundings. Stop to notice the beauty of the sunshine above you, the street-sign with the crack on it that you never noticed before. Pay attention. This will serve you well in whatever capacity your life may take you, and wherever that is, chances are very good that you will be walking there too. Life is a journey taken one step at a time, and if when you reach the end of that journey you turn around to see where you’ve been and you can’t remember a thing because you didn’t pay attention, then did it really happen? Paying attention can save your life. You never know when you will have to duck a tree or another object that life hurls at you. Noticing your surroundings is sharing the beauty of the world that God has created, while focusing on yourself is selfishness. These things are only suggestions designed to improve your life. Take time to pay attention to whatever you are doing, whether it be school, work, or play. Very few people look back at the halfway-completed job they have just done and say to themselves that they are very proud of what they have accomplished. Don’t be a quitter. Just keep walking. Have patience. Take your time. Learn to appreciate things you are given and don’t throw them away. There’s more to this world than you can ever hope to learn in thousands of lifetimes, but you can still miss it all if you don’t pay attention to any of it. On the other hand, if you intend to accomplish nothing with yourself, then by all means give everything a halfhearted attempt before you say, “I am finished with this thing. It has beaten me.” Move on to the next thing and let it defeat you too. Life is a serious of trials and errors that if you run through may prove to be cold and heartless defeats. When you walk through things slowly the odds are in your favor that if a thing can be solved and it is within you to solve it, then it will be solved. The journey is in the walk, and the walk is in the journey. What you did to arrive at your destination is more important than if you got there or not. I’m going to watch the falling leaves, falling off the trees. I’m going to watch the sun come down and touch the moon. Watch me and find out how I got there.
Day 6
The thoughts of one young man ran away from him as quickly as raindrops can trickle off a rooftop. He had just returned home from a day at school, and had just been given his progress report by his teacher. With a handful of good grades sure to secure his mothers affection for yet another day, he was bound and determined to ask for that new bike for Christmas. He didn’t want a big bike, or a fancy 10-speed which he really didn’t think he needed anyway (but he sure thought they were cool), he just wanted a plain old red bike of some kind that he’d seen at the store, and preferably one without training wheels. He was quite sure his mother would give in to this request, especially after seeing the a-minus he’d managed to pull off in writing class. He really did have a time getting those curly s’s to fit inside those nice tight black lines on his practice writing sheets. He had also recently decided that he was a big boy now and was through with training wheels for now. He could already ride his old bike so fast that the training wheels didn’t even seem to be touching the ground! So, waving goodbye to his friends in the school bus he opened the front of his house and came inside yelling, “Mom come here and look what I got!” No one was visible in the front hall, or the kitchen, so he went off to his parent’s bedroom to see what was the matter. Inside the bedroom were a few doctors, and his father, who were all huddled closely next to his mom who lay resting on her bed while holding a brand new baby in her arms. He had never seen anything like this. It seemed completely unusual and strange. “A new brother or sister”, he thought. What a foreign concept it seemed to him. His mother had said someone new would be coming into the house, but he hadn’t really given it too much thought, but now this new person was right here in front of him. He stood there in the doorway silent for a good minute or two not really wanting to disrupt anything and trying not to frighten the baby. No one noticed him for a minute either, but when they did, they invited him inside with a smile. He walked inside the room slowly, and said hello to the doctors. They offered their hands to him to shake and he accepted. Then one of them said to his mother, “How about letting him cut the cord?” His father took this as a call to action, and taking his son by the arms led him right over to the baby. “Meet your new sister”, his father said. “Isn’t she beautiful?” The boy couldn’t agree more, but was confused when the doctors handed him a small pair of scissors similar to the ones found in his parents bathroom right next to the Q-Tips. “Go on”, they assured him, as his mother held her new daughter proudly up in the air. A long strange pinkish tube was attached to the little girl and it stretched on down beneath the sheets where his mother was sitting. He slowly reached out his hands, and with one small stroke of his fingertips clipped the cord in half. Blood issued out of the tube and the boy was concerned, unsure of what he had just done. “No it’s okay,” they told him. “He thinks he hurt her,” the doctors said to his mother. It was all so wonderful, the boy couldn’t remember a thing about why he had come into the room, and he just sat there watching his new sister, until he was asked to leave.
Day 7
The boy was having a party and everyone was going to come. It was going to be great. He could see the festivities in his mind. Frankie was going to be there. That Frankie, he was a wild kid, always ready to crack a joke or a few heads. His mother didn’t think too much of Frankie but she valued friendships for her son so he was allowed to come. Fritz was next in line to be invited. He was the type of boy that every mother wanted her son to be friends with; he was very polite and well mannered, he never really got into much trouble and he was on the straight A honor list at school. Fritz however had a knack for thinking of fun, rambunctious things to do, once you got him away from his studies that is. Rachel was the girl that lived next door. She was very pretty, but also very quiet and shy. She didn’t have a lot of friends, but due to her proximity to the party she had been invited so as not to hurt her feelings. “And who knows”, the parental reasoning went, “maybe it’ll be good for my boy to have a proper lady around.” The boy didn’t think so of course, but he never liked going against anything his mother suggested strongly, as it could lead to I told you so’s, and constant nagging. Nagging, oh how he hated his mother’s nagging. It was enough to make him want to beat his head into the bathroom wall. In fact one time he did do such a thing and it left a small dent on the apparently soft plastered wall. His parents never saw the dent, or at least if they did they never made mention of such a thing to him. And that was quite all right, because he did many things that he hoped his parents would never discover. He was sure to receive a whooping if they ever found out who shot that squirrel and put its body on top of the neighbor’s car. One of the parents from across the street came over and accused him of doing it, but his parents defended him vehemently, and the boy said that he did not do it, so the matter was closed. He would go to any length to avoid getting a whooping, including setting up a scene to make it look like his baby brother had knocked over something while playing. It was always easy to blame things on the baby. After all, he could never defend himself. All he could do was sit in his high chair, wave his hands around in the air happily and spit. It was a perfect method – neither child received punishment. They didn’t believe their oldest son ever did anything wrong if he blamed it on his brother, and they would just wipe up any spills the younger child made. This would all change at the big party. It was going to be great. Everyone was going to be there.
Day 8:
What a time everyone was having. The picnic was in full swing. Everyone that was anyone was attending. The Schultz’s family was there, the Martins, the Higbees, even the Jeffersons stopped in to see what was happening. It was certainly a gala event of the highest order. There was a pie eating tournament that ran ‘round the clock with new contestants every half-hour. There was a sack race for the children eight years of age and younger. There was a cake walk where people could win cakes if the number they were standing on was called when music stopped playing. Everyone was delighted that the whole community could finally be together and put this violence behind them. They all tried to forget, at least for a while, about the child that had been kidnapped, beaten and raped in their very own neighborhood just four short months ago. A local fellow who had been described as being very kind and whimsical had committed this despicable act. He liked blowing up balloon animals for the kids who would take their new treasures home with them to show to their parents. He’d lived on twelve cypress avenue for about fifteen years, according to the oldest reckoning of a local official, and during that time he’d never done anything harmful to anyone that would cause people to suspect that they shouldn’t trust him around their children. People were tight lipped in town and didn’t like talk much, but whenever something important happened they would spread rumors amongst themselves. It was in this way that they began to suspect the man that no one talked to, of this most heinous crime. They thought it was terrible the way he was just enjoying himself at the party since it was obvious to all concerned parties that he was an as yet not captured criminal. The Higbees tried not to look at him as he passed, shielding their children from seeing his face. The Martins, upon seeing the man approach their general direction, turned and went the opposite direction towards the sack race. Everything would have gone along smoothly if it were not for the haughtiness of Mrs. Jefferson who spit in his face and called him an “evil, evil man.” He openly wept and drove away in his car leaving the partygoers to wonder if they were right for condemning the man with no reasonable evidence.
Day 9:
Don’t expect things to always work out for you exactly how you planned. This is easy to write, and easier still to say, but despite this, there are still people who believe that through some great step by step organizational process they can coerce facets of their life to move along smoothly just as they intended it to. This can never be so. Unless you are in direct control of the details of an operation, you can never be sure that the operation will be one hundred percent successful. People don’t always react exactly how you might expect them to. No matter how well you think you know someone, the slightest deviation of your expected path according to that other person may produce tragic results. Whether or not the results are permanently or only semi-permanently tragic are largely up to you. Only if you can convince the people that you don’t directly control of how much sense your intentions make and what you meant, will your intended plan have any effect. Until then you’ll be just another man babbling along the avenue whistling to himself unable to change the world around himself in any way and forced to take handouts from strangers just to eat lunch at the nearest fast food restaurant. Some people completely give up on planning their life. This is for quitters and should not be practiced by people who have any zest for life whatever. Jellyfish friends are the kind that just drift along – wherever life takes them is okay with them. Just like the jellyfish, these friends can sting you without realizing it. So, find out what you want. You will almost always have to work through people to reach your destination, so learn how to work with people, how to communicate your ideas to and through them. Being scared of expressing yourself to those around you is a sad, sad state. Learn to love. Learn to rejoice in creation. Be free. Remember that inside everyone is sad to some varying degree, many people are just clever at hiding it that’s all.
Day 10
I often worry that I have nothing important to say or that my thoughts and concerns and feelings will be devoid of any interest to the world. It is at times like this that I am usually tired and feeling sorry for myself for whatever reason. It may have been because I was tired of trying an endeavor that didn’t work for me, or I had attempted to get involved in something without even knowing where to begin being involved with it at. Such is the unfortunate life of the creative who don’t know how to market themselves. We find letter writing to editors confusing and hope that we can find someone to send something to that won’t end up getting thrown out with the rest of the garbage within minutes of arriving in the mail. I often think that the world is too big to get anyone to notice me that will pay me for anything. I secretly feel jealous of those who happen to be in the right place at the right time to get noticed for something that they did which really wasn’t so special at all, it just happened to impress the right person. I feel that life can be a hard thing when you try to go in too many directions at once. You may never figure out where you are headed and will confuse yourself endlessly. This can only result in sadness and frustration unless you succeed in leaning on God’s understanding. Only he can help guide you in the trials and pitfalls of life. Only he will listen to your pain and secret tears and hold you close. Only by living in his strength can you overcome your weakness. He created the world. He can create a bright future for you. You must believe. I do so want to believe. I want to see the results that may be inches away or they may be miles away. It’s just hard to comprehend. The future is a scary place to visit. I don’t know if I would want to live there.
Day 11
Saying the right things to the right people can always be a problem. Life can be moving along smoothly in the direction that you hoped that it always would when all of a sudden out of your mouth come words that visibly upset the person you were just talking to. It doesn’t matter how well you know, or think you know this person, your thoughts are not linked to the same brain, so when you say something that they weren’t expecting it may trouble them. If you notice something is wrong when you are talking to someone and you don’t immediately ask them about it, it could settle in the back of their minds for days, weeks, and even years. If this person you are talking to is a girl, then she may store this new opinion she has of you away for future reference, and completely deny that anything is wrong. Why are things denied when they are obvious? What’s wrong with the world in general when people can’t speak the things they mean for fear of being misunderstood?
Day 12
Johnny was having that dream again. You know, the one where you just lay back with your eyes closed, body outstretched, dangling up in the clouds. You just float away, and let the warm breeze take you where it will. The sunshine heats up your stomach and gives you a toasty feeling inside like nothing else can. There’s no more cares or worries in the world. All you do is relax and enjoy the moment; and the next moment and the next. They’re all the same, and it doesn’t matter because it feels so good. Just think that this must be how cats feel all the time when they lay in the sun for hours at a time, blissfully unaware of the world around them. Cats don’t have a care in the world and if they nap for five hours straight during the day when the rest of the world toils, then it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters when you feel as good as if you were a babe again in your mother’s arms, rocking gently back and forth among the cumulous clouds. Why would you ever want to leave such a position of pure ecstacy? To remove you from a feeling like this would be akin to criminal action. “Don’t wake the sleeping baby”, people often say because they enjoy the angelic way babies look when they are sleeping. People are even jealous of the position of a child – having everyone look after you and care for you. It is an enviable position, but working hard is it’s own reward. However hard work is rewarding at the end of the day and peaceful gentle sleep is rewarding throughout the entire period of time that you are involved in such an activity. “If a man does not work he does not eat”, John Smith said, paraphrasing the Bible, and this is true, but who would want to be a man if this was so? Certainly some would like to remove themselves from that category altogether and be something entirely different. Mankind is always trying to re-invent itself to distance itself from the rest of the people that it looks at and deems average. Don’t be lazy. Don’t be content. Don’t be average. But if the time comes that you are able to enjoy yourself just as in Johnny’s dream, take advantage of it, it is a gift and a respite from the anguish of life. Let no one deny you this chance for pure motionless heaven, as it makes all your hard work seem all the more worthwhile. Eat of life. Breathe it. Don’t spit yourself out, or cut yourself short. When you are tired and lonely, just think of Johnny and what awaits you when you dream.
Day 13
She was the most beautiful thing ever seen by the face of the Heaven’s, a girl surely graced with an angel’s touch. She could do no wrong, and yet she thought she was so flawed. Every inch of her body she magnified all out of proportion. Her skin was like soft rose petals, so sweet, so gentle. I wanted to show her the world, to lift her up to a place where no one else could touch her. But all she wanted was to turn away, to laugh, and pretend that the world wasn’t an ugly place waiting to harm her. Secretly she wished that she were ugly so that she could be left alone. I weep openly for her, hoping against hope that I may one day be able to dry her tears. Such wit she possessed. How smart she was. Perceiving the world with a slight smile and a cock of the head. She always knew what was afoot, but would very seldom comment on it. She could read the future, but wanted no part of it – the present was good enough, and was all that was needed. The future is the enemy of the present, it tears away, rips away what happiness we now possess and replaces it with a murky idea of something to come, something that may or may not come. In the future, she is no more. There is no more idealism. Youth has lost its’ joy, it’s boundlessness. For every leap of hope there is a crashing weight that reminds you what truly surrounds you, what transpires to keep your dreams scattered from you. Push on as you may she will allude you, your great hope for the future will remain as a fleeting ghost. Your life will remain standing still. Your visions will remain just that, and there you will stand, with a gnawing empty pain inside you wishing for more. When you wake up from this horrible dream, you must understand that it is all not fantasy, that it is all not real, in fact it was real – but no more. Playing with shadows is a sure way to allude anything the present has to offer you. Don’t be afraid to ride the waves to wherever they may take you. Wave goodbye to the shore. You won’t be missed. You won’t be sorry. You’ll just awake and continue your journey, and she will be gone forever. A time lost in a place that you can no longer go to. You can revisit in your mind as often as you like, but you will find that you lose track of the details with each visit. Eventually the fantastic is better than the reality ever was. She lives. She breathes. She walks. She is a pure, lovely, shimmering dream of hope.
Day 14
The days drag on and on. Time lingers then passes as if making up its mind about what to do with the world. A dark cloud gathers then goes away as if to dismiss itself and make room for happy clouds and light rain. The room spins round and round if you don’t make a sound. Could you be happier that way? Would you like it if I stayed? Could you possibly be any less dense? Can you engage in conversation that doesn’t have to do with idiocy? It’s fitting in a way; having to deal with the inner demons that battle for a brief moment of your time. Your body is controlled by your mind, yet if not properly harnessed by sleep, good nutrition and exercise can almost behave as if it is behaving of its own accord. You move but you don’t feel it. Where is the joy in that? Where is the living? Why is it that every single moment of every single part of your life can’t be all wonderful and happy? Why do we as people digress over the minutia of life and not focus overall on the bigger picture of life and see it for the wonderful thing it is? I suppose we’re all stupid in a way, running around like chickens with our heads cutoff. Our brains our out of our heads, but we don’t realize it yet. Sometimes we work too much to do anything but come home and go to sleep again. We miss the little things that pass by. We don’t stop to contemplate anything anymore, we just miss the dreary substanceless life that is constant sleep – a joyous state of having to do nothing for at least a few hours, which must be better than doing something that involves long hours of work. Work for what? Work to live? To survive? Or to actually progress and make something of life, of yourself. What is work then, if not life itself? What is life if not work? Can we make anything out of nothing if we don’t work at it? No. Effort is a good thing. It effectively removes us from animals, who even when they work don’t seem to use much effort. I know many animals try and try constantly to achieve an unachievable dream, but just remember many of them are killed while crossing the street. The clouds overhead swirl. The rains fall down. The sun shines afterwards. Another day is dawning. All the ice is thawing. The old man is probably still snoring. He is out of work. He has achieved something beyond the life of the normal man, but is he living? Is he truly living? Has he learned something that we have not, or has he realized a state of grace granted on those who can’t work anymore, and are as such put out of life? For does not work make us appreciate what little life we have left?
Day 15
Do what you love. Period. Don’t worry about what other people say. They’re too busy worrying about the fact that they missed out opportunities to do things in their lives, and now they’re stuck behind a desk measuring things and answering phones to keep that nice house, and the shiny car, and the trophy wife that they have a meaningless relationship with. Some people do things to preserve their “quality of life”. I think this term quality of life is a fictional term that people adopt to guard against losing anything in their life. They are in fact greedy. People are hogs. Pigs. It’s too bad that they are usually too afraid to stretch out and take a risk at something that just might make them happy. Money can’t buy you love. Love can’t guarantee money. Live for what you do. Money only supports what you do. Don’t think you can separate the person you are from the person that you might become. Don’t stretch out too much or go in too many directions at once. A strain of the body can be temporary, but a strain of the mind can have long lasting effects. You might find yourself wandering around in a daze drinking coffee waiting to figure out what it was that you were supposed to be doing. Life can be like that sometimes. You have to shake your head around sometimes and hope that the right words fly out of your tongue.